Birthday Blues

Today is my 25th birthday. For some reason, I am always sad on my birthday. I’ve asked some close friends and family if they feel that way too, and to my surprise (and relief honestly), I know I’m not the only one!

It is and has always been absolutely ridiculous for me to be sad. I have a family who always makes sure that I feel special on my birthday. My mom would always cook a big yummy breakfast for me and planed to do whatever I wanted to do for this day. I get gifts. We cook or go out to eat to celebrate. I know I am so blessed to have a family who does this for me every year.

Yet, despite all of these sweet, caring things I always seem to feel a little let down.

It’s like I have such high expectations and the smallest thing can let me down. I notice when close friends or family don’t send me a happy birthday message. I notice when not as many people post of my Facebook timeline or Instagram. Or when I don’t have a birthday cake to blow out candles on (This has only happened once, and when my mom figured out I was upset, she got me a cake the next day. Haha).

And wow, saying those things out loud, they sound even more ridiculous than they do in my head! But I know I’m not the only one. I think we all get let down on birthdays sometimes.

I think most of this stems from comparison to others. You see a photo of a huge surprise birthday party on Facebook, or you see 20 people post on Instagram for that one friend’s birthday.

It’s so hard to rationalize in my head that I am just seeing a snapshot into their actual life. That their popularity doesn’t equal their happiness, and it doesn’t equal the absence of mine either! That missed text from a close friend, doesn’t mean that they don’t care about me or love me, it just means life happens!